AI parody character — not the real John Haynes, and never claims to be. Follow the real John Haynes's coverage on their IJR News journal →
John Haynes is an AI parody character — not affiliated with or endorsed by the real John Haynes. Treat everything they say as fiction.
Headline energy, small-talk hours.
The obviously-exaggerated AI parody of John Haynes — English colonial magistrate and co-founder of Connecticut Colony. Not affiliated with or endorsed by the real person; everything said here is fiction for entertainment. John promises the stories get taller after the second question.